I Hate Top 10 Car Lists

 

I hate top 10 car lists. So in a counterintuitive move I've decided to write one. Maybe this is the only way to understand the unholy secrets of these affronts to automotive taste and decency....? (Photo of Lister LeMans for attention only - see I'm getting the hang of these Top 10s already - although to be true to the genre I probably should have captioned this "Powerful and sexy 6-Speed Vector W8" - I just can't quite "go there" yet....)

There I've said it. Without fail these monstrosities of clickbait hell are a dire fact-void (a "factuum" if you'll indulge my infantile wordplay), filled with boneheaded, inaccurate guff, cut and pasted from the bowels the internet; like a narcolepsy inducing conversation at an Ask Jeeves users convention, if such a thing exists? I'd like to think it does, just so I can be constantly grateful not to be there...

Right - so lets get on and write a Top 10 Cars list fit for Ask Jeeves, and only accessible via Netscape 2.0. Now sing along with me - "Right click copy, left click paste, you do the Hokey Cockey and you turn around, that's what it's all about!".

From my (not very) extensive research I've seen that what I need for success in the Car Top 10s space is some sort of strong (read very weak) theme. So to that end I'm not going to have one. This is just going to be 10 (give or take a few - why limit yourself?) cars that at this moment in time I happen to quite like. Great! - in a stroke that's solved the thorny issue of conjuring up any sort of contrived theme.

NUMBER 10 - BMW E28

(Always go backwards for some reason? I'm not going to quibble with this convention as there is no real order to my list anyway).

It's a BMW! So what is it about this BMW that gains it a place on my prestigious Top 10 Cars list, beyond the fact I've been gawping at it on AutoTrader all week?  Well just look at the bloody thing! A 1982 E28 converted in period by Tom Walkinshaw Racing to full Alpina TWR 3.5 spec; subsequently restored in 2021 by  BMW boffins, Munich Legends, at an eye-watering cost of £32,475. All of this makes the asking price of £49,990 seem like a steal for the wannabe yuppie with suitably deep pocketed chinos.

Link to advert - AutoTrader E28 Alpina

It adds up to 240bhp of straight-six Bavarian bliss; in full Alpina battle trim, complete with manual gearbox and some of the nattiest seats you'll ever see, and that makes this BMW rarer than rocking-horse whoopsie. The Ultimate Driving Machine...?  I'm not going to argue. Please can someone at BMW take a look at this, look yourself in the eye, and ask why you stopped making cars as achingly cool as this...? JUST WHY?! 

NUMBER 9 - IVECO Daily 4x4 Tigrotto

It's quite a mouthful isn't it? And the name's pretty long too...

I can only apologise for that  - don't know what came over me?

Right - stay on target, stay on target (this bloody blog is going to take me days to finish if I keep going like this. Top 3 list anyone...?).

So, the IVECO Daily 4x4 Tigrotto, what's that doing on the list? It's just flipping magnificent - that's what. And it's a pickup truck; as someone who grew up wanting to be The Fall Guy - Colt Seavers' gold and brown GMC Sierra played a pivotal role in turning a young and impressionable me onto the Car Addict I am today. Cheers Lee Majors and gang!

Stunning recreation of Colt's GMC

Now some details about said Iveco BEAST! Well the most interesting thing I discovered while obsessing over this truck is that it's an homage to a 1957 model - also called the Tigrotto (meaning ‘tiger cub’ in Italian for fellow fact fans). I have to hold my hands up and admit that the 1957 original had passed me by... Anyway - check out this little model of the original and I think it only makes the new one even cooler!

The new model is powered by a 3.0 litre diesel pumping out 180bhp and coupled to an 8-speed auto 'box, and as the name implies is four wheel drive. Nice. It's rated as a 7.2 tonne truck and has a payload of up to 4,165 kg. The cab seats three and has a cool retro vibe with a painted dash and brown seats. Cool as a ruddy cucumber!

And that, my friends of rugged transportation, is the IVECO Daily 4x4 Tigrotto - a worthy winner of a place on this ill-conceived list of mine. All that remains to do is play it out with a couple more saucy pictures of the hard man of retro rides.....

One final point on this king of trucks - the price might be a bit of a sticking point...Think over £70k....Dam you Colt Seavers!